00:00
00:00
qwauter
I’m great at drawing and making music but I suck at voice acting
Pfp drawn by @EPICX812

I don’t know yet

Looking for work

Kansas elementary

Maryland

Joined on 6/7/24

Level:
2
Exp Points:
28 / 50
Exp Rank:
> 100,000
Vote Power:
2.21 votes
Rank:
Civilian
Global Rank:
> 100,000
Blams:
0
Saves:
0
B/P Bonus:
0%
Whistle:
Normal
Medals:
1

Altering these settings may filter what you see.

Latest News


Waking up to the sound of an alarm clock that seemed more like a desperate whale call than a digital beep, I found myself tangled in a blanket that had somehow morphed into a wrestling opponent overnight. As I disentangled myself, I noticed that my room had inexplicably shifted in dimensions. The walls seemed to stretch infinitely, like a Salvador Dali painting on a bad acid trip. My bed floated in the center, a lonely island in a sea of surreal confusion.


I decided to venture out into the kitchen, which had taken on the personality of an eccentric chef. The refrigerator was doing a cha-cha with the dishwasher, while the toaster was making lewd gestures at the coffee maker. I opened the fridge, only to find it filled with mismatched socks, all perfectly chilled to a crisp 35 degrees. I grabbed a striped one and shut the door, hoping my sanity was still somewhere in there, possibly behind the mustard.


Breakfast was a surreal affair. I poured cereal into a bowl, only to find it replaced with tiny plastic dinosaurs mid-pour. The milk turned into a river of miniature sailboats, each carrying a crew of ants who saluted me as they sailed past. I considered making toast, but the bread had grown faces and started singing show tunes in a rather off-key harmony. I decided coffee was my best bet, but the coffee beans had formed a union and were on strike for better working conditions.


The living room was next on my tour of bizarre-dom. My couch had sprouted legs and was doing lunges while the TV showed a static image of a cat knitting a scarf with its tail. The bookshelf had become a cascading waterfall of pages, each book shedding its content like autumn leaves. I tried to pick up a book, but it dissolved into a puddle of ink, staining my fingers with random sentences like “the purple llama dances at midnight” and “beware the ferret’s vendetta.”


I stepped outside, hoping the fresh air would clear my head, but the world outside was no less bewildering. The grass was a checkerboard of red and blue, and the sky had a greenish hue, like it was suffering from a bout of nausea. My neighbors waved at me, their arms stretching out like taffy, bending and twisting in impossible ways. I waved back, my hand turning into a bouquet of flowers as I did. One of the flowers sneezed, releasing a cloud of glitter that settled on the sidewalk, forming the words “Tuesday is a myth.”


I walked down the street, or rather, floated, as gravity had decided to take a holiday. People were flying kites made of spaghetti, and the birds were playing hopscotch with the clouds. I reached the corner store, which had transformed into a giant mushroom with doors that opened like eyelids. Inside, the aisles were filled with shelves of canned laughter, bottled dreams, and a selection of existential crises on sale for half price. I picked up a jar labeled “Inspiration” and another one called “Why Not?” and headed to the checkout.


The cashier was a giant squid wearing a top hat, who rang up my items with a tentacle while humming Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony. I paid with a handful of paperclips and a smile, which the squid graciously accepted. As I left the store, I noticed the sky had turned into a giant Etch-A-Sketch, with someone drawing a scene from a spaghetti western on it. The sun had donned sunglasses and was sipping a cocktail through a straw.


Continuing my journey, I stumbled upon a park where the trees whispered secrets to passersby and the flowers performed interpretive dance routines. I sat on a bench, which immediately sprouted wings and took off into the sky, giving me a bird’s-eye view of the surreal landscape below. I saw a river of melted clocks winding its way through a forest of umbrellas, and a mountain range that looked suspiciously like a stack of pancakes.


As the bench landed, I found myself in a maze of mirrors, each reflecting a different version of me. One mirror showed me as a child, chasing after a butterfly made of light. Another reflected me as an old person, sitting on a rocking chair, knitting a scarf that stretched into infinity. Yet another showed me as a jester, juggling planets while standing on a tightrope made of moonbeams.


Exiting the maze, I wandered into a carnival that seemed to be run by sentient toys. The Ferris wheel was a giant yo-yo, spinning up and down with giddy passengers. The carousel featured mythical creatures like unicorns, griffins, and a particularly grumpy dragon who insisted on eating cotton candy. I tried my luck at a game booth, where I had to throw rubber ducks at a pyramid of rubber ducks to win more rubber ducks. I walked away with a sense of accomplishment and a pocketful of rubber ducks.


The day grew stranger as I encountered a street performer playing a violin made of cheese, producing a sound that smelled like roses. A parade of anthropomorphic vegetables marched past, led by a particularly dapper carrot wielding a baton. They were followed by a marching band of teapots, each whistling a different tune.


Eventually, I found myself at the beach, where the sand was a shifting mosaic of colors and the waves sang lullabies in an ancient, forgotten language. I built a sandcastle, which promptly turned into a real castle, complete with turrets and a moat filled with lemonade. I was crowned ruler of the castle by a council of wisecracking seagulls who promised to follow my reign with mild disinterest.


As the sun set, it morphed into a giant disco ball, casting rainbow lights across the sky. The stars came out, not as points of light, but as tiny disco dancers, grooving to the cosmic beat. The moon, wearing bell-bottoms and a wide-brimmed hat, descended to the beach and invited me to a celestial dance party.


I danced under the stars, my feet moving in ways I didn’t know were possible, guided by the rhythm of the universe. The waves clapped in time, and the sand joined in with a soft shuffle. Time seemed to stretch and compress, a kaleidoscope of moments blending into an eternal now.


As the night grew deeper, I found myself lying on the beach, staring up at the sky, which had become a canvas of surreal dreams. The stars whispered secrets of the cosmos, and the moon sang a lullaby that lulled me into a deep, dreamless sleep.


I awoke to the sound of my alarm clock, the desperate whale call signaling the start of a new day. My room had returned to its normal dimensions, and the blanket was once again just a blanket. The kitchen was quiet, the appliances behaving themselves, and the refrigerator was stocked with food, not mismatched socks.


I poured myself a bowl of cereal, relieved to see that it was just cereal, and the milk was behaving like milk should. As I sipped my coffee, I couldn’t help but wonder if the previous day had been a dream, a figment of an overactive imagination.


Stepping outside, the world appeared normal, the grass green, the sky blue, and the neighbors waving in their usual, non-taffy-like manner. I walked down the street, gravity firmly in place, and arrived at the corner store, which was its usual brick-and-mortar self. The cashier was a person, not a squid, and I paid with actual money.


Yet, as I went about my day, I couldn’t shake the feeling that the surreal world I had experienced was still out there, just beyond the edges of reality, waiting to be discovered. Every now and then, I would catch a glimpse of something out of the ordinary—a cloud shaped like a teapot, a bird that seemed to wink at me, a fleeting whisper of a song that smelled like roses.


And so, I continued my journey, navigating the mundane and the bizarre, the real and the surreal. Each day was a new adventure, a step into the unknown, a dance with the unexpected. My life, it seemed, was a tapestry woven from the threads of dreams and reality, a never-ending story of wonder and absurdity.


As I walked through this world of perpetual enigma, I came to understand that perhaps the sense of it all wasn’t the point. Maybe life was meant to be a series of nonsensical moments strung together, each one more baffling than the last. Perhaps the purpose was not to find meaning but to embrace the chaos, to revel in the absurdity and find joy in the inexplicable.


And so, with a smile on my face and a spring in my step, I ventured forth into the unknown, ready to embrace whatever strange and wonderful experiences awaited me. For in a world where anything is possible and nothing makes sense, every moment is a gift, every encounter a chance to discover something new and extraordinary.


Thus, my journey continued, a meandering path through a landscape of dreams and impossibilities. Along the way, I encountered a variety of peculiar characters and situations that defied logic and expectation. One day, I found myself conversing with a sentient tree who spoke in rhymes and offered sage advice on the nature of time and space. Another day, I was invited to a tea party hosted by a group of mischievous rabbits who served tea in cups made of moonlight and biscuits that tasted of forgotten memories.


In a quaint village nestled between mountains that hummed a perpetual lullaby, I stumbled upon a library where the books read themselves aloud, their stories weaving together in a symphony of words and images. I spent hours there, entranced by the tales of far-off lands and fantastical creatures, each one more captivating than the last.


One particularly memorable evening, I attended a masquerade ball held in an enchanted forest where the guests were a curious mix of humans and mythical beings. As I danced with fairies,


Available for Work

open for commissions

i can draw anything but very poorly!

$1 per drawing


Recent Game Medals

5 Points

15 5 Points

Reach Layer 15

Latest Favorite Art

More